Back to Good
by MissDanielle
Summary: Joint fic with Butterbuns. Garret&Renee post Locard's Exchange. Renee's exhusband learns of her attack. COMPLETE
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer:** We don't own Crossing Jordan, we just pretend we do.

**Author's Note**: This a joint fic. Renee sections were written by the lovely and talented Butterbuns. The Garret sections were written by me, MissDanielle.

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Renee let out a soft sigh as she left the autopsy suite. Her hands were still shaking slightly, so she crossed her arms as she walked. That night had terrified her. Not having any choice she'd shot Emmett Parker, and she now felt horrible about it. She saw Jordan and Lily in the hall and slipped past them to the elevator. 

When Garret was finally sure he had his nerves in check, he pushed through the door Renee had come through moments earlier. His stomach twisted in an uncomfortable knot, he sat at his desk and pulled the ever-dependable bottle of scotch from its bottom drawer. He poured a shot and let it's burning warmth comfort him the way it always had. Staring at the empty glass a second later, he smiled as he remembered a time when Renee had joined him for a midnight drink. She gulped it down the way he had tonight and it was then that he had first realized that she was unlike any other woman he had known. He poured another shot and cursed himself a fool for letting her walk out again tonight.

When she stepped onto the elevator and the doors closed, she leaned against the wall, her nerves shot. She prayed that she could keep it together long enough to get home and make sure her daughter was down for...well, a few hours anyway. She wasn't sleeping through the night yet, but usually only woke up once a night. Renee's eyes slipped closed for just a moment, before she snapped them open again, an image of his eyes just as she shot him, flashing before them. She took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down.

"What are ya drinkin'?" Jordan asked in her usual chipper tone. Garret quickly capped his bottle and slipped it back into its drawer.

"Nothing," he said, making no attempt to conceal the obvious lie. He was simply in no mood to share tonight. But from the coy look in her eyes as she sat down in the seat across from him, Garret newJordan wanted to talk. To share not his scotch, but the thoughts that were so obviously weighing on his mind. He preferred to keep these to himself as well, but knew his friend wouldn't let him off the hook that easily.

As she walked towards her car she started shaking slightly more. By the time she pulled out her keys her hands were shaking so badly she knew that she'd drive off the road in the state she was in. So she turned around and headed back upstairs.

"You should tell her." Jordan suggested.

"Tell her what?" Garret asked. He knew perfectly well what Jordan was talking about and figured that she was probably right, but was much to stubborn to admit it.

"Tell her everything," Jordan sighed, "look at you man, the minute she steps back into your life, you're the same mess you were when she walked out of it five months ago. She's got some kind of hold on you and if you ask me, it looks a lot like love." Garret's jaw tightened at the mention of 'the L word'.

"Yeah well I didn't ask you," he said with more hostility than was absolutely necessary. Jordan took his tone as her exit que. She shook her head and gave her boss a sad smile. She shut the door behind her and left him alone

Reneeknocked lightly on his door, before popping her head in. "Hey...you busy?" She asked softly.

Surprised at the sound of her voice,Garret spun in his chair, "No," he said, "come in."

She walked in and gently closed the door again behind her. Renee lightly leaned against it, not knowing what to say.

"Have a seat," he offered, realizing too late how formal the invitation sounded, but not knowing what else to say.

She laughed softly as she sat; noticing how forced her laugh sounded. "I can't drive."

The lines in Garret's forehead scrunched together in confusion, "Excuse me?" he asked.

She held out her shaking hands. "Afraid I'll drive myself off the road. And that wouldn't be good for anyone."

Garret smiled in understanding. He wanted so much to reach out and take her hands in his own. To steady her and tell her everything was fine, even though he knew it wasn't. Her reaction to his advances earlier had told him that everything was far from fine. "Do you want me to drive you?" he asked finally.

After pulling her hands back and folding them in her lap, she looked down for a moment. "Would you mind?"

Garret didn't miss a beat. "Of course not," he smiled. He reached forward and turned off his computer monitor. "Let's go," he said, anxious to be out of his office. Renee's entrance had filled the room with years of unspoken tension and he couldn't stand to be in it a moment longer.

She smoothed out her skirt as she stood, walking past him out of his office, her arm brushing lightly against his and she had to swallow hard. "Thanks."

He walked silently behind her to the elevator, watching the familiar way her body moved as she walked. He pressed the down button and waited beside her until the elevator dinged open. Standing uncomfortably in the elevator, he noticed how easily the tension between them had moved from one space to another.

She tried to relax slightly, but her mind and body were having none of it, and she let out a soft sigh.

"You alright?" He asked as the elevator slid to a stop.

"That's a joke right?" She raised an eyebrow as she turned to look at him.

"Right...sorry" Garret said with a sheepish smile. Of course she wasn't all right, she had just shot a man who was looking to kill her. He gave himself a mental kick in the backside and held the lobby door open for Renee to walk through.

She didn't say anything, just nodded slightly, crossing her arms as she walked past him. _God, this is awkward. I hate this. Things are so hard and confusing between us._

Garret did a quick scan of the parking lot. His car at one end, hers at the other. "Yours or mine?" he asked.

"Yours is probably more sensible." She said softly.

"Fine," he said, not caring in the slightest whose car they took. Again they walked wordlessly towards his car, the silence punctuated by the sharp click of her high heels against the pavement. The passenger side was closest to them, so Garret, ever the gentleman, opened the door for her and closed it once she had slid into the seat. He took his time going around to the driver side, not wanting to be met with silence, but also not knowing how to break it.

She pushed her hair back as he got in, opening her mouth to say something, and then realizing she didn't know what to say. So again she just stayed quiet.

Garret drove out of the parking lot and down street after street. His stomach tightening with each passing second. The longer he was quiet the harder it was to think of something to say. He wracked his brain for a safe topic and when he could find none, he said the first thing that popped into his mind. "How's the baby?"

Renee's eyes brightened slightly as her lips curved into a soft smile. "She's good. She's getting big." She looked out the window and sighed, before looking at him. "I'm sorry."

Garret's eyes darted from the road for a moment. Had he heard correctly? 'I'm sorry' was a phrase that rarely passed through Renee Walcott's lips and tonight he had no idea why it should. "For what?" he asked, turning his gaze back through the windshield.

"For...everything." She lightly bit her lip and stared back out the window.

Garret swallowed hard and nodded slowly. "Sorry doesn't change anything though does it?" He said cautiously, not wanting to start an argument after the night she'd had. Regardless, there were things that needed to be said and he decided he'd take advantage of the fact that he had her in a moving vehicle and she therefore couldn't run from his questions.

"No. It doesn't." She looked over at him. "I wish it did, but...look, I made a mistake. A big mistake, but I love my daughter with all my heart, whether she's the physical manifestation of it or not." She swallowed hard.

"Then why'd you do it? Were you _that_ unhappy with me that you..." Garret's voice trailed off when he realized how painful it would be to vocalize what she had done.

"It was a **mistake** Garret. What do you want me to say? Do you think I met him that night just to sleep with him? Hell, he's married." She ran a hand over her face as she sighed.

Garret's whole body tightened with stress. "And what about him, huh?" he asked, his voice gruff with anger, "is he around, or is he out playing happy families while you're on your own?" Garret secretly hoped for her sake at least, that Renee's answer was the former but knew it probably wasn't.

She flinched slightly at the tone in his voice. "He has his own life Garret. He's come around a grand total ofthree times."

"Three times in four months, sounds like a real nice guy," Garret said sarcastically, "I can see why you were in such a big hurry to get back with him," The last part slipped out before he had a chance to stop it. He knew it sounded petty and childish, but it was as if the link between his brain and his mouth had been severed. Instead he was saying all things he'd wanted to say for months. He knew if he kept talking he would hurt her and that was the last thing he wanted to do, but dammit, she'd hurt him more than anybody ever had. The spiteful side of him told hold him to let loose, but the sad slump in her shoulders made him stop.

"Yeah, because losing you was the most important thing I had to do. He has a family. His wife and his sons don't know, and he doesn't want them to. So I'm not going to be saying anything" She swallowed hard again to keep her voice steady, looking over at him with faint tears in her eyes, and knowing he was holding back. "If there's something you wanna say, just say it."

"Are you sure you really wanna hear it?"

"No, but you obviously have something to say, so spit it out." She sighed.

"Fine," Garret said, tightening his grip on the steering wheel, "I think what you did was selfish. You left me hanging for months, all the while you were messing around with your ex-husband right? And then you just show up out of the blue _pregnant_ and rip my heart out. But I'm not sure why I'm surprised. I mean I knew that you were selfish all along didn't I. Everything you do for you don't you? To get ahead in your job. And you don't care whose throat you have to cut in the process. You don't care that there might actually be people that care about you, even when you don't give them reason to. Gulp and run right? That's your motto. Hurt everybody before they have a chance to hurt you. Well congratulations...your plan worked wonders on me." Garret let out a ragged sigh when he'd finished. He turned the steering wheel and saw Renee's apartment building looming up ahead.

"Feel better?" She choked out; glad they were so close to her apartment.

Garret thought for a moment a shot her a sideways glance. "No," he admitted quietly. In fact he felt worse.

She choked back a sob as he parked in front of her apartment. "I have to..." Her voice broke slightly, "go...I'll... see you." She said as she opened the door.

Garret's heart sunk to the pit of his stomach as he watched her get out of his car. He wanted to call out to her, tell her was sorry, that he hadn't meant all that he'd said, but his voice caught in histhroat. He slammed his fist against the steering wheel as she disappeared into the building.

She couldn't wait for the elevator, knowing she had to get somewhere private where she could relax and let her guard down. She forced a smile for the nanny, put Amanda down, and then walked into her bedroom, shutting the door and sliding down it, sobbing harshly.

He sat motionless in his car, letting the constant hum of the engine calm his shattered nerves. He stared up at the window he knew was hers. We waited for the light to come on in her bedroom, for her to give him a sign that she was alright. Deep down Garret knew she wasn't alright and he blamed himself entirely. He sat in his car for an hour and the light ever came.

She got up after a while and went to lie on the bed, leaving the light off, just wanting to be alone, in a quiet room. Her sobs continued, her heart almost completely broken.

A car blazed past Garret's and broke him from his trance. He reached for the key in the ignition. He stopped when his fingers touched it. He was now faced with a choice. The same choice he'd encountered on a regular basis since Renee had come into his life. He could turn the key, restart the car and leave. Leave her the way he had left her dozens of times before. Leave her the way he always did when he felt like he couldn't deal. Or he could take the key from the ignition completely, and go to her. Go to her they way he should have every time he had ever had the chance.

She turned on the light on the bedside table and sat up slightly, picking up her book and trying to think of anything but Garret.

Keys in hand, he ran towards her building. He pressed his thumb impatiently to the elevator button and when it didn't come after only a few seconds, he headed up the stairs. He took them two at once and by the time he reached the fourth floor he was breathless. He stopped at her door and thought for a moment. Excuses for him to turn around and head back down the stairs flooded his brain as he regained his composure. _It was late. She's probably sleeping. She's had a long day. The baby's probably sleeping. She won't want to see me._ It was this last thought that made Garret knock on the door. He had to know where he stood. He didn't care if she was sleeping or not, he had to know.

She groaned softly as the knock on the door woke Amanda and she started screaming. Renee walked into the nursery and picked her up, snuggling her close, as she went to answer the door. She just sighed when she opened the door. "If this isn't about work, I don't wanna hear it."

Although Garret had never seen her cry before, he could tell right away that she had been doing just that. He looked dejectedly at his feet, as she spoke. "I just..." he started, "I don't want to leave it like this...not again."

"Fine. Come in." She sighed slightly, shifting Amanda a little bit, trying to get her to calm down. Renee stepped back, opening the door wider. "Excuse the mess, I haven't had time to clean."

Garret scanned the room quickly and couldn't find one thing out of place. _Some mess, _he laughed to himself. Everything seemed the same as it had always been. Without being invited, he sat himself down on her sofa. It was then that he felt the difference. He leaned to his left and pulled a stuffed lamb from between the cushions. The baby was the difference. The baby changed everything

"Give me a couple minutes." She said softly, walking back into the nursery, and sitting in the glider, gently rocking Mandy back to sleep. She carefully laid her back down when she was asleep, and walked back into the living room, sitting down in the cushy chair.

Staring across the living room Garret was again lost for words. He felt like a kid who'd been caught without his homework. He let the first thing that came into his mind slip out his mouth. He gestured to the nursery, "She's beautiful," he said earnestly.

"I know she is. She's also the only good thing that came of all this." She sighed. "What do you want? Because I think I've heard all I want to from you."

Garret sighed, realizing if he didn't get to the point she may kick him out of her home. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry." He gave her a half smile before continuing. "I know that doesn't mean much. And I know I kind of threw your apology back in your face earlier, but I'm sorry for that. And I'm sorry for all that stuff I said in the car." He looked her in the eye to make sure she knew his apology was genuine. "I'm sorry...that's all I wanted to say."

She nodded slightly, still smarting from his comments. "I slept with him once Garret. One time. I wasn't with him that whole time I was avoiding you." She paused. "But, you know what? I'm glad I did it." Renee held up a hand to ward off anything he was going to say. "Because I got a beautiful daughter out of it." She let out a wry laugh. "On the other hand, I lost one of the most important people and I regret it more than you could ever imagine." Feeling her eyes tear up she swallowed hard.

The sight of her tears propelled him into action. He quickly closed the gap between them. He knelt before her and took her hands in his own. "Hey,hey, hey" he whispered. "C'mon, don't cry," For a moment he felt as if her tears might be contagious, the closer he got to her the more he could feel his own tears burning behind his eyes and threatening to spill over.

She slid onto the floor beside him, and gave him a brief hug, before pulling away. "I can't...I can't do this. Not tonight. Please."

Garret pressed his hands to each side if her face, forcing her to look at him. "When then? Months from now when you happen to stumble into my office again? That's not going to work for me. "

She reached up and pulled his hands down, not letting them go, her shoulders slumping slightly. "No...just...it's been a long night."

"I know...you're right... I'm sorry," Garret stammered, feeling like a jerk for being so hard on her after all that she'd been through today. Looking away, he pulled his hands from her grasp and pushed himself from the floor. "I shouldn't have come," he said in a near whisper before heading for the door.

"Garret, wait." She stood up and walked over to him. "Don't go." Renee sighed. "Let's just do this. Please."

He smiled and turned to her. "No, I should really go," he said quietly "You've been through more than enough today. You don't need me here digging up our past. Why don't just call me when the dust has settled, huh?"

"Fine." She nodded slightly, looking down. "I'll see you."

"Fine," he agreed, reaching for the door handle.

She put her hand on the doorknob. "Wait." She looked up at him. "Stay. Please. I really want you to."

Garret's heart jumped into his throat at the touch of her hand. He looked down into her pale blue eyes and found them screaming for him to stay, louder than her mouth ever would. He nodded slowly. "Okay."

"Thank you." She whispered, not pulling her hand away from his yet.

With her hand firmly in his own he led her to the sofa and sat down beside her. For what felt like the hundredth time that night they were engulfed in uncomfortable silence. He had said what he had come to say and feared that anything else he said might elicit an argument. He was finished fighting, so he remained quiet.

She didn't know what she wanted to say, so she said nothing, and let the silence go on.

The longer he sat there beside her the more he remembered how things used to be. Before everything had spun so out of control. He loosened his grip on her hand and slouched further into the couch, leaning his head against the back so that all he could see was the ceiling. He stretched his feet out in front of himself and let them rest, with their ankles crossed, on the coffee table. "What now?" he asked with a sad sigh.

"I don't know. I mean...I...care about you but there are so many issues there now." Renee tucked her legs under her and leaned against the armrest, half closing her eyes.

Garret kept his eyes fixed upwards while she spoke. For the first time he realized that Renee had a textured ceiling. He'd been here countless times but had never noticed before tonight. He smiled to himself and wondered why he was thinking about such mundane details at a time like this. "Issues," he said with an airy laugh, "we've got enough of those to sink a battleship don't we?" he joked. He rolled his head along the back of the sofa so he could see her.

"Yeah, we do." She sighed. "I miss you."

At this last remark, Garret pulled himself from his slouched position so he could look her in the square in the eyes. "Yeah?" he asked, foolishly trying to convince himself that what he heard was truth, all the while knowing that Renee would never lie about something like that.

"You think I'd lie?" She opened her eyes, and just looked at him.

He moved closer to her on the sofa and laughed softly, "no," he admitted, "I miss you too," he added after a moment.

She shifted towards him slightly. "So what are we going to do?"

"That's completely up to you," Garret said slowly, "I mean, you've gotta think for two now right?" he explained, his glance sliding to the nursery door for just a moment.

She sat silently for a few minutes, thinking. "What are your feelings about dating a single mom?"

"I think I can handle it," he nodded, a smile creeping across his whiskered face.

"Good." Renee could feel a smile tugging at her lips, and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

Garret turned his head ever so slightly and caught her lips with his own. As if by instinct, his arms reached out and pulled her body against his. He deepened the kiss, slowly reintroducing himself to the lips and the body he had missed for months. How long they stayed wrapped in each other Garret had no idea, he only knew that if they stayed that way forever, it wouldn't be long enough.

She gently cupped his cheek as they kissed, getting completely lost in it. The kiss brought all her feelings for him back to the surface.

Garret let himself drown completely, and was finally brought to reality minutes later by the shrill scream of the baby in the next room. He broke away from Renee and smiled. "This is it, huh?" he asked.

"Guess so." She smiled slightly. "Excuse me." She said as she got up and walked into the nursery, picking up Amanda and going to sit in the glider with her.

Garret followed her a moment later. He stood in the darkened doorway of the nursery and smiled. When Renee noticed him he crossed the room and knelt beside her chair. He pressed a kiss into her hair before turning to the tiny baby in her arms. "Hey," he whispered. Amanda cooed as he ran the back of his finger over her cheek.

"Hey." Renee smiled softly, lightly rubbing Mandy's back.

He stared at the baby a moment longer before turning back to Renee. He smiled and fixed her with a knowing look. "We're gonna be okay," he promised quietly, "it's gonna work this time."

She smiled softly. "Maybe."

"No," Garret started, his voice dripping with urgency as he tried to find the words that would make her understand, "this is it."

"If it works out this time, it works, and if it doesn't..." she sighed, "it doesn't."

"I'm not going to walk away this time," he said earnestly. He waited a moment to collect his thoughts before continuing. "After every time we have fallen out, I always knew, in the back of my mind, that somehow we'd find our way back. Somebody tried to kill you tonight, Renee. And I almost lost my chance to tell you how much I love you." Garret's eyes sunk to the floor as he uttered the last words, not because they weren't true but because he was petrified of the reaction they would cause in her.

"You...really..?" Renee was stunned. Just stunned.

"You think I'd lie?" he asked mimicking her earlier tone, "I love you," he smiled "I'm not going anywhere...I'm afraid you're stuck with me

"I love you too." She said softly, getting up to put Amanda back down as she drifted off.

"Good," Garret said quietly when she turned back to him. He pressed a slow kiss to her lips and led her from the nursery.

She walked over to the couch and pulled him down beside her, leaning over and kissing him gently.

He draped his arm around across her shoulder and held her close to him as a warm wave of contentment washed over him.

She laid her head on his shoulder with a smile, melting into him.

Garret buried a kiss in her hair and let his eyes fall shut with a sigh. This _is_ it he thought to himself.

She could feel herself drifting off and looked up at him. "You wanna stay tonight?" She asked quietly.

"You sure?" he asked, ever the gentleman.

"Yeah. I wouldn't have asked otherwise." She laughed softly, before yawning.

Garret smiled. Of course she wouldn't have. "Okay," he said after a moment.

She smiled softly and kissed him gently. "I love you..."

When she pulled away he reeled her back into him with a new found urgency. He kissed her hard and let his hands roam over her entire body, reacquainting himself with every curve in her frame.

She cupped his cheeks, kissing him deeply as she let out a soft moan.

He lay her down gently on her back and moved over her slowly. He leaned down and kissed her once more before tugging lightly at the top of her skirt. He fixed her with an 'are-you-sure' look and a coy, boyish smile.

"Bedroom first?" She laughed gently, lightly pushing him off her before standing up. "Come on."

Garret smiled and gabbed at her hand and followed her down the dark hallway. They had made that same trip countless times before, always with the same outcome, but still Garret found himself feeling as if this was the first time he had ever touched her.

Her stomach fluttered with every step they took towards the bedroom. Turning around with a smile, Renee kissed him again as she walked backwards towards the bed.

Garret kept his eyes fixed on hers as he unbuttoned his shirt and stepped out of his pants.

She slipped off her skirt, and peeled off her blouse, beckoning him over with a crook of her finger.

He moved slowly towards her, forcing her further onto the bed before climbing onto it himself. He reached outfor her middle and pulled her close to him. He slid his hand over her hip and down her leg, removing her functionally simple panties in the process.

She kissed him softly. "Just be gentle. It's been a while." She lightly dragged her nails down his back

Garret smiled and promised he would be. He slowly unhooked her bra and tossed it aside before removing his favorite blue boxer shorts.

She let her eyes wander down his body with a smirk.

He reciprocated her smile with a laugh of his own and moved slowly on top of her. His body trembled as he gently moved inside her. He made love to her softly and carefully until his he was too exhausted to do anything but collapse next to her. He turned her on her side and spooned his body against the curves of her back, wanting to be as close to her as he could.

She let out a contended sigh, rolling over after a few minutes, and cuddling into him, one leg tossed over his hips.

Garret breathed deep and brushed his lips against hers just as Amanda wailed from the next room. Garret laughed and shook his head. It had been years since he had had a romantic interlude interrupted by a crying child and it had happened twice tonight. But he didn't mind in the least. "I'll go." he offered when Renee started to move from the bed.

"I got her. She's probably hungry anyway, I don't see you being able to help in that area." She smiled, sliding off the bed and grabbing a long shirt to pull on.

"Okay," he relented, and watched her with an admiring smile as she left the room. He folded his hands behind his head and tried to name the feeling he was experiencing. It was altogether foreign to him and he was inwardly glad that it was Renee who had summoned it. His thoughts shifted when he overheard Renee talking to her daughter in the nursery. Although the quiet voice was meant to lull the baby to sleep, it had the same effect on him. Within minutes he was sound asleep.

When she walked back and found him dead to the world she smiled softly, and crawled into bed with him, curling back into him.

She smiled as she watched him sleep, thankful that things had turned out better than she'd ever hoped. She'd never thought that he'd still want her, nor that he loved her. Her assumptions had been proven wrong and she was ecstatic about it.


	2. Chapter Two

Garret woke with a start in a room he instantly recognized wasn't his own. As he sat up and pushed the cobwebs of sleep from his brain, he realized just whose bed he was in. He turned to where Renee had slept, only to find an empty space beside him.

She had woken up a short while ago and gotten up to check on the baby and start the coffee maker running. When she heard him shifting in the bed she walked back to the bedroom and leaned against the doorframe. "Morning Garret." She smiled softly.

"Morning," he said, pulling himself from the covers and padding across the room. He gave her a quick kiss andturned back into the bedroomto collect his clothes. "I have to go," he announced, "I've gotta change and get to work."

She yawned softly as she watched him. "Alright. I'll see--" She cut herself off as there was a knock on the door. _Who the hell comes to someone's door this friggin early? _she thought to herself as she headed for the door, looking out the peephole before debating about opening the door, especially in her current attire; boxers and a tank top. She gave in and opened the door. "What?"

"I heard about what happened last night. Wanted to see if you and Amanda were alright."

"We're fine. But you can't be here right now."

Eddie sighed and stepped into the apartment. "And I'm here to tell you that I'm seeking custody."

Garret watched from the bedroom quietly until he realized just who was at the door. He pulled on his pants and slipped into his shirt. He was fastening the last button when he reached Renee and her ex-husband. "What's going on?" he asked.

Before Eddie could open his mouthRenee silenced him with a single look. "Eddie, Garret; Garret, Eddie." She sighed. "What the hell do you mean you're seeking custody? Why?"

"Because I heard about last night. You're job is dangerous Renee. What if something happ--"

Renee rolled her eyes. "Nothing's happened yet. And if I recall you didn't really want all that much to do with your daughter before, so go ahead. Make my day."

Garret stood in bewilderment as he watched the argument before him. He wasn't sure what he should say, or even if he should say anything. He had no idea where idea where he fit into this scenario, but decided he wasn't going to let this man, regardless of his relationship to Amanda, try and take her away from her mother. "You should probably go," he suggested to the other man.

"Hey, Renee, keep your lapdog back, huh?" Eddie smirked slightly, his eyes glittering with the mirth of an old joke.

"Eddie..." She groaned softly. "Just go."

"I'm filing with my lawyer today. I'm only telling you this as a courtesy."

She chuckled mirthlessly. "Get out. Now."

"I'm going. Just came to let you know."

"Fine. Now I know. You aren't going to win with this and you know it."

Garret gave her a blank stare as she slammed the door. He was too shocked by Eddie's announcement to do anything else. "They'll never give him custody, Renee," he said after a time.

She just shrugged slightly. "I know."

Garret wrapped a protective arm around her and pressed a kiss to her temple, "don't worry," he whispered. He gave her a quick squeeze and ushered her to the bedroom. "Get dressed and I'll take you two out for breakfast before I have to go in."

She smiled softly and turned to look at him. "If you have to go...go," she sighed. "I have to go see my lawyer before work anyway."

"Where's your car?" Garret called from the kitchen with a knowing grin.

Her hands paused halfway into doing up her shirt. "Dammit!"

He laughed quietly as the realization of her car's location at the morgue hit her. "Get a move on," he called as he walked through the apartment towards the nursery.

Amanda was laying in her crib on her back, mesmerized by the mobile hanging above her. Garret reached down and gently picked her up. He held her close to his chest and talked to her in hushed tones. He figured it was about time he introduced himself to the girl.

"I'm Garret," he explained, "you're gonna be seeing me around a lot from now on." Not caring that Amanda had no idea what he was saying, he continued to tell her about his own daughter and his job and anything else that popped into his head. "And don't you worry kiddo," he whispered finally, "I won't let anybody take you away from your mum, okay."

Reneeheard the tail end of his little speech and bit her lip as she walked in. "Hey."

"You ready," he asked, passing Amanda to her.

"Yeah, just give me a second to grab her diaper bag." She smiled as her daughter looked up at her. "Hey there cutie."

Garret grabbed the diaper bag before she could reach it and slung it over his shoulder, "let's go ladies," he smiled and ushered them out of the apartment, downstairs, and out to the curb where he'd left his car the night before. He snatched the parking ticket off the windshield and helped Renee fasten Amanda's baby carrier into the backseat.

After he closed the door she looked at him for a second and slid her arms around him. "I love you. Have I told you that this morning?"

Garret glanced skywards and furrowed his brow in mock concentration, "I don't think so," he said and planted soft kiss on her mouth. He smiled and held the passenger side door open for her. When she was inside he pressed it shut and made his way to the driver side. Sitting beside her on the way to his apartment, he reached across the car and held her hand, just wanting to be near her for as long as he could before they were separated for the day.

She smiled and turned her hand over, lightly squeezing his.

After a quick stop at his apartment so Garret could change, they sat down for breakfast at a diner around the corner from the morgue. Garret looked the menu up and down, even though he'd been there enough times that he could recite what was written. He ordered a full fry up that he knew he shouldn't eat, but didn't much care. He hadn't eaten much on the past couple of days and his stomach was starting to protest. As Garret passed his menu to the waitress, a familiar voice called out to him from a few tables over,

"Well hello, hello," Nigel said, picking up his newspaper and coffee and sliding himself into the booth next to Garret. "Isn't this cozy?" Nigel asked, glancing across the table at Renee and Amanda beside her. He smiled at the baby and turned to Garret, "isn't she lovely?" Garret fixed him with a stare that let his employee know he was less than amused with his intrusion.

"Is there something I can do for you Nigel?" he asked flatly.

"Not really, Dr. M, I just came over to see how you are," he said turning to Renee, "I heard about you're little bit of drama last night. You alright love?"

She had to fight the smirk twitching at her lips. "I'm fine."

"Glad to hear it," Nigel said with a wink.

"You're gonna be late," Garret said glancing at his watch. Nigel grinned sheepishly at his boss and gathered his things.

"Right," he said, "see ya later then." He slid out of the booth and headed off to the morgue

She laughed softly as he left, wrapping her hands around her mug as the waitress brought it.

Garret turned to Amanda. Nigel was right, she was a lovely looking baby. "Do you think he's gonna go thought with it?" he asked suddenly, remembering what Eddie had threatened earlier that morning.

"Probably, " she said, rolling her eyes as her phone rang. "I have to get this." She answered it with a clipped tone. "Walcott. Well, I hope you told her to stick them up he--good. I can't. I'm in court. Yeah. Sure. You sound...worried. You don't think he-- Really? I'd like to see him prove it." She snapped the phone shut and laid it on the table.

Garret fixed her with a curious stare as she spoke. "Who was that?" he asked when she had finished.

"My lawyer."

"What's up?"

"Eddie works fast." She sighed. "He's claiming I'm an unfit mother."

"Based on last night?" Garret said, making no attempt to conceal his anger, "Last night had nothing to do with being a mother; unfit or otherwise. You were attacked. How can he hold that against you? It wasn't your fault."

"Based on last night and the fact that I used to spend most of my time at work." She nodded slightly.

"That's bullshit," Garret said under his breath. He had only met Eddie this morning, but had decided long before then that he didn't like him. What he was doing now was just plain cruel. "No judge in their right mind would let him have her," Garret said, trying to reassure her, "you know all the judges around anyways...they know you're a good mom."

Reneelaughed softly. "Garret, relax. I'm not worried."

Garret sighed, thinking to himself that she was probably lying, for his sake as much as her own. Renee was never one to wear her feelings for the world to see. The waitress approached the table a moment later with his breakfast. He picked at his eggs and had a bite of his toast before deciding he wasn't as hungry as he'd thought. "Are you ready to go?" he asked pushing his meal to the center of the table.

"Sure." Her eyes narrowed slightly as she looked into his. "I'm really not worried."

Garret tossed some bills on the table and slid out of the booth. He waited a moment while Renee gathered Amanda and their things and then followed her silently out of the restaurant. This whole situation with Eddie just rubbed him the wrong way. He knew it wasn't his place to get involved but he couldn't stand around while Eddie threw his money at his lawyers until he took his daughter away from her mother.

After settling Amanda back into the car Renee turned and looked at him, barely fighting a smile. "Hey, relax, please? It's not like she's your daughter."

Garret started the car and sighed, "I know," he said quietly, "I know." They made the short trip back to the morgue in relative silence, only an occasional babble from Amanda in the back seat. He pulled his car into the space beside Renee's. He said good-bye to the baby, as Renee moved her from one vehicle to the other. When she had finished he pulled her into his arms and kissed her "I'll see you tonight," he said, half telling, half asking.

She smiled softly. "Yeah." Renee's arms slid around him lightly.

"I love you," he said quietly and kissed her one more time before heading to his office.

She bit her lip as she got into her car, looking back at her daughter with a sigh.

When Garret reached the ninth floor he found most of his staff huddled round each other in the break room, no doubt circulating another days worth of gossip. When he walked the room, it fell silent. It was then that Garret realized that _he_ was the topic of today's discussion. "It's ten after nine, people," he announced, "get to work." He poured himself a coffee he knew would taste just as awful as it always did, and made his way to his office.

Renee reached her office earlier than usual after going by her apartment to leave the baby with the nanny. As soon as she walked in, everyone went silent. Rolling her eyes she walked into her office and shut the door, checking when she was due in court that day.

Before he had even taken his off his coat, Jordan bounced into his office and plopped herself onto his sofa.

"Nigel says you were playing daddy with a certain DA and her baby this morning." she said cutting straight to the point.

Garret sighed, clearly not amused by Jordan's interest in his business, "There really is no such thing as privacy in this office is there?" he asked taking his chair and flicking on his computer.

"Afraid not," Jordan said with a smile, "so what happened?"

Garret stared at her across the room and smiled, "Since when is this any of your business?" he scoffed.

"You're not gonna tell me are you?"

"You catch on quick," Garret laughed. He let his gaze slide to his office door as a subtle hint for his friend make her exit.

"Alright," Jordan said "I'll just have to make stuff up to tell people then," she joked heading for the door.

"Get to work Jordan," he smiled.

After four people walked into her office to see how she was doing after her attack last night, she slammed the door shut behind the last person, and locked it. "God!"

Much to his delight, Garret was out of the office most of the day. Woody had requested him at a homicide scene and although the weather was rainy, cold and altogether unpleasant, he was glad to be out of the eye of the morgue's gossip storm.

By the end of the day she was completely drained, and starting to get worried about Eddie seeking custody. She'd met her lawyer at lunch and nothing she said relieved her of her worries.

For the first night in weeks Garret finished work at a reasonable hour. With a bag of take out Chinese in his hand he rapped lightly on Renee's door, careful not to wake Amanda if she happened to be sleeping on the other side.

She looked up from the file she was working on and uncurled from the couch, walking over to the door. "Hey. Come on in." She smiled as she opened the door.

He pressed a kiss to her cheek and left dinner in her hands so he could take his jacket off. "How are you doing" he asked as he tossed his jacket over the back of a chair.

"I'm okay. You?" She asked as she walked into the kitchen to grab plates.

"Fine," Garret said making his way to his place on the sofa, "Did you talk to your lawyer today?" he called.

She came back out with two plates and put them on the coffee table. "Yeah."

Garret opened the bag of food and laid each carton on the table, "And?" he asked, "What'd she say?"

"Nothing I didn't already know." She said, not wanting to talk about it.

Garret picked at his dinner for a moment and then asked, "What does he want her for anyways? He's got his own family hasn't he? Why the sudden interest in Amanda after months of virtually no contact?"

"Guilty conscience? I don't know." She sighed, putting down her chopsticks.

He nodded in agreement; it seemed as good an explanation as any.

She reached behind her for the phone when it rang, leaning over the arm of the couch, not realizing how far her shirt was sliding up. "Hello?" She smiled softly. "Hey. How did you...He called **you**? To...geez. Yeah. I'm fine. I swear, nothing happened. Right. Okay, talk to you later. Love you too. Bye." She rolled her eyes as she hung up, still leaning backwards.

Garret raised a quizzical eyebrow as she hung up the phone, "who was that?" he asked.

"My mom." She rolled her eyes again. "Eddie called her to see if I've ever neglected a child I was babysitting."

"You're kidding me?"

"Nope." She laughed softly.

Garret shook his head in disbelief, "that's pretty low," he scoffed. "Does his wife know about Amanda?" he asked curiously.

She sat back up. "I have no idea." She ran her hands through her hair and sighed.

"I'm sure she wouldn't be thrilled if she did," he said, a mischievous grin creeping across his face.

"What are you suggesting?"

"Tell her," Garret said simply, "if she knows, than you're no worse off...but if she doesn't, she might just convince himnot togo through with it."

"No. She'll find out eventually."

"Yeah, when he moves Amanda into their house," he said under his breath.

"Garret..."

Garret, took her hand in his, "I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I shouldn't have said that."

She silently pulled her hand out of his grasp.

Garret, gave her a sad smile, "what?" he asked.

"Apart from the fact that you just insinuated that I'm going to lose my daughter? Nothing."

He reached out for her hand again, "c'mon, I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I just...I just feel like there is more that we should be doing, ya know?"

She just gave him a look as she pulled her hand out of his reach.

"Renee," Garret reasoned, "You're not gonna lose her. Even if he gets the best lawyer his money can buy, he's not gonna be able to beat you, you're the DA for crissakes."

"Garret. I'm. Not. Worried."

"Alright," Garret shrugged, and went back to his dinner, "alright."

"Sorry. I'm just a little...tense lately." She sighed as she picked up her plate again.

He nodded in understanding, "you know, you _can _talk to me about it,"

"I know."

"Good," Garret said, in a voice just short of a whisper. He bit into a spring roll just as Amanda howled from the nursery

She put her plate back down as she got up. "Be right back," she said as she walked into the nursery.

Garret waited on the sofa for Renee to come back. It took only a few moments for her to get Amanda to stop crying. He figured she probably needed her diaper changed. When almost fifteen minutes had passed he pulled himself from the couch and wandered into the nursery.

She looked up when she heard his footsteps and held a finger to her lips, before looking back down at Amanda, her foot still lightly pushing the glider.

He stayed in the doorway and remained quiet, as he'd been asked. He watched Renee and marveled at how easily she held her daughter. Months ago he couldn't have imagined her with a child, but now, to imagine her any other way didn't make sense. She seemed comfortable as a mother and was as good at it as any woman he'd ever met. As all this ran through his mind he again found his thoughts coming back to Renee's ex-husband. If he could only see what Garret did now, he wouldn't dream of separating them.

Renee stood a few minutes later, when Amanda had calmed down more. She walked past Garret into the living room and set her in the play crib, wanting to keep an eye on her.

"You really are amazing with her," Garret said earnestly, as he found his seat on the couch again.

"Thanks." She smiled softly, as she sat again.

"I mean it," he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close to him.

She laid her head on his shoulder lightly with a smile.

Garret let Renee relax into him and tried to dispel the feeling that was gnawing at his stomach. Renee usually bottled up most of what she was thinking and feeling, but tonight, Garret couldn't help but feel like there was something bigger under her usual secrecy. "Why would he care about kids you used to baby sit?" he asked finally, "that was ages ago, what does it have to do with now? With Amanda?"

"Something happened when I was sixteen. Something not many people know." She bit her lip, debating about how much she should tell him.

He sat up in his seat, forcing her to do so as well. Sensing that she was about to reveal a long buried secret; he looked her square in the eyes and nodded for her to go on.

"I was babysitting for a family; three kids. One year old, four year old, and an eight year old. I was putting the baby into his crib, and I hear this loud thump downstairs. I didn't think anything of it, at first, until I heard screaming. I left the baby in his crib and ran down the stairs as fast as I could. The eight year old was standing at the top of the stairs to the basement, screaming her head off. Miranda, the four year old, had been running, tripped over a toy, and fell down the stairs." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Garret realized what away what had happened to the girl, but still felt compelled to ask. "She died?" he said slowly.

"Yeah."

Garret nodded as he put the pieces together in his mind, "and Eddie's going to use this against you in court,"

"Looks like." She sighed.

"But it was accident," Garret said, sensing the desperation in his own voice.

"Yeah, I know."

Garret hung his head a little lower and shook it slowly back and forth, "that bastard," he muttered, "I'll kill him"

"Just leave it Garret." She shrugged. "If it comes up, it comes up."

"What do you mean _if_ it comes up? It's up." he said a little more aggressively than he had intended. "If he's going to use this he's going to use anything he can get in order to get to Amanda. And I'm not sure if you've noticed, but being the illustrious attorney that you are, you're name is the paper almost everyday. Don't think for a minute that he won't try and manipulate you in the press too."

"He can try whatever he wants. Doesn't mean he'll win the case." She snapped.

"I know that," Garret reasoned, "but don't you want to stop this before it even makes it to court? Before everything in your past gets made public record?"

"Short of giving him custody there's nothing I can do. He already sees her when he wants to."

Garret leaned back against the sofa and sighed dramatically. He rubbed a tired hand across his face and shook his head. "I just don't want this getting ugly," he explained.

"Too late." She sighed.

He reached for her hand, and gave it a quick squeeze. "Well, no matter, how ugly" he started quietly, "I'll be here."

"Thanks Garret."


	3. Chapter Three

"Wait, you're not seriously saying that he could win this, are you?" Renee stared at her lawyer.

"Possibly. He has a good job, he has good hours."

"So do I!"

Garret had been silent for the entire meeting, not knowing quite where his place was. He had no real stake in the custody battle and had come only because Renee had wanted him to. As her voice rose, Garret placed a hand on her forearm to bring her back down to a reasonable decibel and keep her from tearing her attorney's head off.

"Renee, it's well known that DA's don't have the best hours, and often have to work late." She said calmly.

Renee rolled her eyes. "I'm home by 5:30 almost every day. I have made **every** effort to be as much a part of my daughter's life as I can. I am there for her every time she needs me. He's come around four times. And the last time was to tell me that he's fighting me for custody. I will **not** let him take my daughter from me."

With Renee still fuming, beside him, Garret turned to her attorney, "is there anything that we can do?" Garret asked, "You know, to help the situation, better her chances when it comes time to go to court?"

"Not really. The major issues are your work hours, and the fact that you're not married and he is." She directed her comments to Renee.

"Has anyone found out if his wife knows yet?" Garret asked, "It seems to me that she's the biggest playing chip we have here. I mean if she doesn't know already, ask her how she would feel if he was trying to take her kids away. If we can squeeze some sympathy out of her, she might be able to talk him out of it." Garret was getting anxious now, he cracked the knuckles of one hand into the palm of the other.

"I refuse to play dirty. If his wife doesn't know, I'm not going to be the reason she finds out."

Renee's lawyer sighed. "Alright, you have pretty good chances, and considering that your first court date is today. I don't think that there's too much else we can talk about now."

Garret nodded in understanding, "alright," he said.

Reneestood with a sharp nod, before smiling slightly. "I'll see you this afternoon."

He grabbed hold of her arm as they left the office. "Now what?" he asked, leading her through the lobby.

She waited until they were outside and turned to him, wrapping her arms around him. "I can't lose her Garret." She whispered.

Garret pressed a kiss to her ear and whispered back, "you're not going to lose her, okay. No judge would take her away." he said, even though he was starting to feel like perhaps that wasn't true. He held her as close to him as he could, running his hands over her back, trying to calm her down. "Don't worry," he said, realizing too late that it was a stupid thing to say. He'd seen worry written all over her face for days. No matter how many times he told her not to, it seemed that worry was all she could do.

Pulling back slightly to look at him, Renee raised an eyebrow, "You're kidding, right?"

He smiled a sad smile, "sorry," he said quietly. He sighed and looked at his watch, "how long until we're due in court?"

"Three hours." She sighed. "You don't have to come if you don't want."

"I'll be there," he said, his tone leaving no room for argument. "You want to go get lunch or something in the meantime?"

"Yeah, sure." She tried to smile. "I have to pick Amanda up first though. It's the nanny's day off, and she was just watching her as a favor for a while."

"Okay," Garret nodded, "I need to go back to my office, so why don't I meet you two at that place on Third and Park?"

"Sounds good."

"Okay," Garret agreed and walked Renee to her car. He waited until she was ready to leave and then followed her out of the parking lot.

She drove back to her apartment to get her daughter and the stroller before heading to the restaurant.

When Garret got to his office, Jordan was already waiting for him. Yesterday afternoon he had finally filled her in on everything that had been going on between himself and Renee and now, her ex-husband. He still maintained, of course, that it was none of her business, but felt like he needed someone with an outside perspective to talk to about the entire situation.

"How'd it go?" Jordan asked.

"I don't know," he admitted. "We're going to court in three hours and I've got a bad feeling about the whole thing. But I'm telling you Jordan, if this ends in his favor, I think I might kill him."

Jordan listened to her friend and told him things she figured he'd want to hear, that everything would okay and not to worry. He smiled and thanked her, both of them knowing that her comments were of little help. He took care of a few files and forms and talked to a few of his employees to make sure things were in order and then headed off to the restaurant.

She smiled when she saw him walk in, and waved him over, having grabbed a seat while there still were some, seeing as the place was filling fast.

Garret sat down beside her, but turned his attention to Amanda. He smiled down at her and for a moment, all he could see was her.

She smiled softly as she watched him with Mandy.

His trance was broken when the waiter asked if he could take their orders. Garret hadn't even looked at the menu yet. He picked it up and ordered the first thing he saw. He knew whatever it was; he probably wouldn't eat it anyway. His stomach was doing far too many somersaults over today's court appearance.

She ordered a chicken salad and just kept watching the two of them.

Garret's cell phone rang in his pocket and scared his heart into his throat. "Macy," he barked after the third ring, "I'm not coming in...until tomorrow... find Dr. Cavanaugh, and ask her to deal with it... okay, fine... I'll see you tomorrow." He flipped the phone shut and smiled. "I'm gone five minutes, and the place falls apart."

She laughed quietly, "I know what you mean."

As he watched her smile for the first time, all day, Garret was suddenly struck with and idea. "I was thinking about what you're lawyer said earlier," he said as the waiter placed two drinks on the table between them.

"Which part?" She asked, slightly distracted by all the other thoughts flying through her brain.

"The part about you not being married but he is," Garret explained a little uneasily, "I mean, I'd marry you, you know, if," he stammered, "if it would help you keep Amanda."

"Wow. Romantic." She said dryly. "Garret..." She trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"Well, I mean, I love you and everything, you know, it's not all about Amanda and this whole mess," Garret said stumbling over all his words now. He stopped for a moment and remembered to breathe. He pressed his lips into a hard line and breathed a laugh through his nose. "This isn't how I'd planned this," he assured her.

"Garret...I..." She sighed. "I have no want to get married again. At least, not now." She bit her lip, not sure how he would take it.

Garret laughed nervously, "I know," he said, "I was just thinking old loud, forget I mentioned it." Their food arrived moments later and Garret was thankful for the distraction.

She looked down with an almost silent sigh, and refused to meet his gaze.

When Garret started in on his meal he found that he could in fact eat despite his nerves. His plate provided a welcome distraction from the fool he'd just made of himself. By the time they'd finished, all they had time left to do was head to the courthouse.

Reneeleft the money for the check on the table as they walked out of the restaurant silently. "Garret…I'm sorry."

"I thought we were going to forget about it," Garret said spinning around to face her.

"You said it, I never agreed." She smirked.

"Well, I voted and you lost; we're forgetting it, okay?" he said trying to make light of the situation as he put Amanda into the back of her car.

"Fine." She said curtly.

"Good," Garret said, shutting the back door of the car. He turned to Renee and was instantly serious as the gravity of what was coming next began to sink back in. "I'll see you over there," he said with a sad smile. He walked to his car and droveto the courthouse as butterflies tap-danced in the pit of his stomach.

She was waiting for him in front of the courthouse when he showed up. "Here we go."

He took her hand in his as they walked into the courtroom. Garret had no idea what to expect but braced himself for the worst. He slid into the first pew of the gallery with Amanda in her carrier beside him while Renee took her seat at the table in front of him. As they waited for the judge he thought how odd it was to see her on the opposite side of the courtroom, sitting at a table where defendants in her trials sat.

"Your honor, my client, Eddie Mitchell has filed to have his daughter Amanda Walcott removed from her mother, Renee Walcott's, custody and placed in his care."

The judge looked over at Renee "Ms Walcott, nice to see you again,"

"Good afternoon Your Honor."

"On what grounds, councilor, is you client seeking custody?"

"Mr. Mitchell is seeking custody on the grounds that his ex wife is an unfit mother and a danger to the child."

Renee could feel her jaw tick, but didn't say anything, knowing it could get ugly if she did.

"My client has been her daughter's sole guardian since she was born. She's been an exemplary mother thus far, and there's no reason to believe that anything will happen to the child if left in her care."

"You mean she won't let her fall down the stairs?" Eddie's lawyer sniped, making Renee's face fall.

"Your honor the incident to which Mr. Anders is referring happened when Ms. Walcott was sixteen and should have noeffect on these proceedings."

Garret sat quietly biting his tongue in the gallery while Eddie's lawyer attacked Renee's character. He looked down at Amanda and silently hoped, for her sake, that this mess could be resolved as quickly as possible. He scanned the courtroom. There weren't many people there. He figured those present were just waiting for their turn before the judge. There were a few women on Eddie's side of the gallery, but he was hopeless to determine which, if any, was his wife. The entire thing lasted a little over an hour, each side simply presenting the general points of the arguments they would bring before the court at the hearing. When it was all said and done, Garret breathed a sigh of relief. He knew he'd be in court for this same case many more times before the matter was settled but he was glad at least that the first hurdle had been cleared.

When they left the courtroom, Garret told Renee he would follow her home, and he had. When they got there he'd made dinner and started on the dishes. He stood now, with his back to her, his hands submerged in the soapy water as he scrapped spaghetti sauce off his plate.

She walked quietly up behind him, and slid her arms around him. "Thanks for dinner." She said quietly as she kissed the back of his neck

Garret turned in her arms to face her. He leaned down and kissed her gently, his arms stretched out to the sides so he wouldn't cover her in soapsuds. "Well, spaghetti is about as fancy, as I get, so get any gourmet ideas," he laughed.

She laughed softly, lightly sliding her arms around his neck, kissing him again.

As he deepened the kiss, he lost himself just a little in the feel of her lips on his and let his hands run through her hair, soapsuds and all.

She let her hands slide down his front, her nails lightly scraping him over his shirt.

Garret pulled away from her for a moment and looked hard into her pale blue eyes. He shook his head and smiled, wondering how he'd ever gotten lucky enough to be loved by a woman like Renee.

She leaned against his body and just rested her head against his shoulder. She laughed softly when a thought hit her. "Hey Garret? What would you have done if I'd said yes?"

Garret groaned dramatically and tilted his head to the ceiling. "So much for leaving it alone, huh?"

"You know me, I never do that." She kissed at his throat.

"Honestly," Garret said, his tone turning serious now, "if you had said yes, I would have skipped out on lunch and taken you down to city hall and married you right then." He blushed and focused his gaze on his shoes.

"Hey..." She lightly cupped his chin and lifted his head. "I would have said yes..."

He raised his eyebrows ever so slightly and searched for her meaning in her eyes. When he could find none, he found his voice and verbalized his confusion, "would have?" he asked quietly.

"If it wouldn't look like there was only one reason we were doing it," she said softly.

Garret smiled, "but you know, there was more to the question then that right? And I'm not trying to get you to change your mind or anything," Garret assured her, "I'm just telling you I didn't ask just for Amanda's sake, so that you could keep her. I asked because I love you too."

"Is your offer still going to be there when this is all over?" She raised an eyebrow slightly.

"It'll be there until you accept it," he smiled.

"Good to know." She flashed him a bright smile before kissing him again

Garret smiled against her lips, "I'm glad we decided to forget about this," he whispered.


	4. Chapter Four

Over the next few weeks Garret spent more time at Renee's apartment than his own. They didn't get married but that didn't stop her from nagging at him when she found his socks lying in the middle of the floor or when he got Amanda excited five minutes before she was ready to go to bed. But Garret didn't mind in the least, he was just happy to be with her. She and Eddie were in court at least twice a week and when they weren't tearing each other's past apart in the courtroom, the press was doing it for them in Boston's gossip pages. When the first story printed, Garret gave up on his idea of using Eddie's wife as a pawn. If she hadn't known before, she certainly found outin that article. Because Eddie came from a long line of important Beacon Hill millionaire businessmen, and Renee was of course the district attorney, their lives were, to some degree under the scrutiny of Boston's ever watchful eye. As he and Renee were now clearly an item, Garret had found that his name too, made an occasional apperance in the gossip pages. This morning, as he sat at Renee's breakfast table with the newspaper laid out before him and Amanda curled into his chest, he called to Renee in the bedroom,

"They're calling you an alcoholic this morning," he said.

"Geez." She said as she walked out. "Drink too much one time at a public function." She rolled her eyes as she put her earrings on.

Garret laughed, "It's not your fault though," he explained, "says here that you weren't a drinker until you met Eddie. Apparently he likes to tie one on every now and again, too."

"Yeah. From time to time." She said as she stood behind him, her arms sliding around him gently.

He tilted his head towards hers and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "What time are you two in court today?" he asked

"Two." She yawned softly. "God, you completely wore me out last night."

Garret held his hand over Amanda's ear, "not in front of the baby," he joked, a smile dancing across his face as he remembered the night before. He rose from his seat and handed Amanda to her mum just as the nanny barreled through the door with apologies for being late.

"It's fine Cynthia."Renee smiled softly, leaning up to kiss Garret. "Laugh all you want, you'll be like this tomorrow." She winked.

"Promise?" he smiled and headed towards the door. He waited, jingling his keys in his pocket and his hand on the doorknob, for Renee to say good-bye to Cynthia and Amanda. They took the elevator to the lobby and walked outside hand in had to their cars parked side by side. Before letting her go, he kissed her one more time, "I'll see you at two," he promised.

"Yeah. I love you." She said softly.

"Love you too," he said with a wink before climbing into his car and slamming the door shut after him.

She laughed softly she left for work.

Garret hurried through his work that morning so that he could be in court by two. He hated to leave his offices so often, but there were just some things that were more important than work. Before he left for the day, he found Jordan and ran through a list of all the things that needed to be done before the end of the shift.

Reneewas waiting outside the courtroom when he showed up, pacing back and forth nervously

"What's up?" he asked when he approached her, sensing right away that something was wrong.

"Nothing, just waiting."

Garret took her hand and squeezed it as the bailiff poked his head from inside the courtroom and called for them. "Showtime,"he whispered.

She squeezed his hand back, smiling nervously.

Garret took up his usual post behind her in the gallery and waited. He could feel something big was in store for today; he just wasn't sure what was up Eddie's attorney's sleeve. Whatever it was, he hoped Renee and her lawyer could combat it.

She sat there and just listened to the two lawyers tear both her and Eddie's pasts apart. After weeks of it she couldn't take it anymore. "Stop!"

"Miss Walcott, sit down." the judge said, letting her outburst slide, as it was only the first.

"Your Honor, this is the kind of rage I've been talking about," Eddie's lawyer said, gesturing to Renee. "Miss Walcott is prone to bouts of anger like this, and what's to stop her from taking it out on her child?"

"How about the fact that I love my daughter more than my own life?" She snapped, ignoring her lawyer's attempts to shut her up. "Your honor, I can't do this anymore, and I apologize for this, but I will **not** continue to sit here and listen to all the reasons I'm supposedly an unfit mother. I won't do it because I'm not. I have been there for my daughter since the moment she was born."

The judge gave Renee a stern look, "Miss Walcott, I understand that these proceedings are difficult for you, but unless you would like to be ejected from the courtroom, you will sit down and be quiet." she said.

She sat down and let out a long sigh, wishing this was all over with.

"Now, as I was saying," Eddie's lawyer continued, "Miss Walcott's history of violent behavior stretches back to when she was child. A little girl has already died in her care and Mr. Mitchell is fearful a similar fate may befall his only daughter if she continues to live with her mother. Having been married to Miss Walcott for close to eight years, Mr. Mitchell has seen the kind of temper his ex-wife has. Mr. Mitchell can recall several instances when Miss Walcott was in fact physically abusive towards him."

"Your honor, the little girl who died under her caredied ina freakaccident. She tripped over a toy and fell down the stairs as Ms. Walcott was putting the family's youngest son to bed, a floor above where the other two children were playing." After a quick glance at Renee she continued. "Ms. Walcott admits that from time to time her temper does get the better of her, but her anger towards her ex-husband is in large part due to his excessive drinking while they were married. He repeatedly came home drunk, and ended up passing out in the living room, unable to manage the stairs."

The judge looked down at both lawyers. "In the last two days, neither side has presented this court with new information. I have heard accusations of alcoholism, abuse, gambling habits, and even murder. If neither side has anything new to say, then I am tempted to resign to my chambers and formulate my decision." The judge turned her attention to Renee and her attorney first. "Do you have anything new councilor?"

"No your honor."

The judge shifted her gaze to the other side of the courtroom and raised her eye brows to Eddie's lawyer, "No, your honor, " he said.

"Fine," the judge said with finality, "then I leave it up to you Miss Walcott and Mr. Mitchell. Tomorrow come prepared to present to this court, in your own words, why it is that the child in question should be in your custody. I will see you at nine am sharp," she said with a rap of her gavel.

She got up and refused to look Eddie's direction as she walked away, walking over to Garret.

Garret placed his hand on the small of her back as he led her out of the courtroom. When the judge had said tomorrow would be their last chance Garret's stomach tightened and he assumed it would stay that way until the judge made her final decision. When they had finally made it out of the courthouse he turned to talk to her. "How ya doing?" he asked.

She just shook her head slightly. "How badly did I screw up?"

"You've been holding all that in for weeks in there Renee," he reasoned, "no one would blame you for one or two outbursts. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you for being here." She said softly. "It means a lot."

"You don't have to thank me," Garret said, "I'm here because I want to be here, because I love you and I love Amanda. And tomorrow the judge is going to rule in our favor and this whole mess will be over. Eddie will go back to his family and we'll go back to ours, as if none of it had ever happened."

She smiled when he referred to her and Amanda as his family, and she knew it was the right time to ask. "Hey, Garret? What if I say yes to your offer now?" She bit her lip, waiting for any kind of reaction.

"What offer?" he asked with an arch of an eyebrow, "What are you talking about?"

"You don't remember." She said softly.

When finally Garret clued in he felt like a chump for not realizing sooner. Of course he hadn't forgotten about his ridiculous attempt at a proposal but after a tough day in court, it had been the furthest thing from his mind. He smiled coyly at the woman in front of him, "Why Miss Walcott, are you saying you want to marry me?" he asked.

She smirked and spoke with a southern drawl. "Well, why, Dr. Macy, would I want to marry anyone else?"

Garret laughed for a moment and then became deadly serious, "will you marry me Renee?"

She nodded and threw her arms around him. "I love you Garret."

He kissed her and smiled. "That means yes, right?" he asked, back to playing the fool.

"Yes!" She laughed.

Garret grabbed her hand and led her back towards the courthouse, "alright," he said, "let's get married,"

"Right now? Garret." She laughed.

"Yeah right now," Garret said giving a little tug on her arm. In the lobby of the courthouse Garret stared at the directory until he found a justice of the peace. "Third floor," he announced, "room three fourteen."

She barely held back a giggle as she followed him.

Garret rapped quickly on the door marked three fourteen. When a short stocky man answered it, Garret pointed at Renee, "I need to marry her," he announced, "right now."

"Oh Lord." She muttered under her breath.

The Justice of the Peace backed into his office, "okay," he said, giving in to the excitement in Garret's voice, "but you're going to need two witnesses."

She looked over at him. "You know anyone who's not at work?"

Garret thought for a moment, "no," he said honestly. He put each of his hands on either side of her as if to hold her in place, "wait right here for a second," he instructed quickly and then left the office.

He was back two or three minutes later with a blue haired old woman and security guard who had just finished his shift. "I come bearing witnesses," he announced.

She just shook her head. "Why do I wanna marry you again?"

"I have no idea," Garret jokingly admitted, "but you're going to aren't you?

"Of course." She laughed.

"Alright then." He smiled and kissed her quickly before turning to the justice of the peace, "let's do it."

She slid her hand down his arm and intertwined their fingers, not saying anything.

Garret and Renee recited a set of standard vows the justice of the peace had practiced hundreds of times. Although the words lacked originality, none of their meaning was lost on Garret. He was now, and would be forever, bound in matrimony to the woman with her hand in his; the woman he couldn't take his eyes off of through the entire ceremony. He realized that he had taken this leap with another woman before, and Renee with another man, but for Garret this time was different and deep down, he knew this time it would last. When the justice of the peace pronounced them husband and wife Garret turned to her, a smile stretched clear across his face. He shook his head and laughed in disbelief, remembering a time when being with Renee seemed like a distant dream. Standing in the company of the justice of the peace and the two witnesses, he kissed her longer than he knew he should have, but didn't care. As soon as the ink had dried on the marriage certificate, Garret and Renee thanked the others involved in their wedding and headed for home. As Garret drove he felt, for the first time in a long time, genuinely happy and he was filled with a new hope for the tomorrow's final showdown in court.

Renee's whole drive home, she had a small smile on her face, not willing to be too happy about this. Not until the next day.

Garret got to Renee's apartment before she did. He said hello to Amanda before sitting down with Cynthia at the kitchen table for a chat. Cynthia was a round and jolly woman, a real grandmother type and Garret enjoyed her company. There was something in her that reminded him of his own mother and he suspected this is why he liked her so much. He offered her a drink and filled her in on how things had gone in court that day. He told her that tomorrow would be their last shot and Cynthia said she would say a prayer for them tonight even though she was convinced things would end in their favor. In his recap of the days events Garret left out the part about him and Renee finally getting married. He was excited and wished he could scream it from the rooftops, but the gravity of tomorrow's impending decision kept him quiet on the subject. When the whole mess was over with, there would be plenty of time to celebrate.

She walked into her apartment with a smile, and slid up behind Garret, sliding her arms around him. "Hey Cynthia" She said over his shoulder.

Garret reached for Renee's hand as it touched him and pressed a kiss into her palm.

Cynthia smiled across the table in the same admiring way she always did, "Dr. Macy has just been telling me what a big day you've had today," she said.

"Big day would be an understatement." She fought a laugh.

Garret smiled to himself and said nothing, amusing himself with the knowledge that, unbeknownst to either woman, the other was referring to a completely separate incident.

"I'm gonna go change, I'll be right back." She kissed his cheek as she pulled away, before she walked into her bedroom.

As Renee walked out, Cynthia pushed herself from the table. "I think I'll be on my way now Dr. Macy," she announced. Garret followed her through the apartment and helped her with her coat.

They exchanged their ritual "see you tomorrow's" and when she was gone, Garret found his way to Renee's bedroom. She was still only half dressed when he got there, so he leaned himself against the doorway and watched her. Reminding himself that she was now his wife, he smiled.

She finished doing up the last of the five ties in the back of her shirt, and let her hair down from the bun it was in, the curls framing her face perfectly. After tucking the edge of her shirt into her jeans she turned and looked in the mirror, seeing him behind her in the doorway. "Like what you see?"

Garret nodded, his eyes wide, but still kept his post at the door.

She smirked slightly, turning around.

At the sight of her sly smile, Garret was forced into action. His eyes narrowed as he crossed the room in two quick strides. He reached out for the top of her pants and pulled her close to him with a quick tug. His arms went instantly around her as their bodies collided. He looked down for a moment and he could see right into her shirt. "Stupid top," he whispered with a smile as he pulled on one of the ties at the back, "make me work to get it off you,"

"Hey..." She laughed. "I didn't get dressed just so you could _un_dress me."

"C'mon," Garret whispered, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the hollow of her throat.

"Garret..."

He pushed her hair behind her shoulder and traced a line of kisses along the side of her neck. "You're killing me," he whispered when he reached her ear. He kissed her one more time and then pulled away.

Renee smiled as she reached up to kiss him while she tied her shirt back up.

Garret smiled and sighed in understanding. Tomorrow was the final round in the fight for her daughter and, as much as he wanted to, he knew she had enough to do tonight without him pushing her to go to bed. They walked out of the bedroom together to find Amanda in her play pen, stirring out of sleep.

"Hey...I want to...later." She laughed. "God, you look like I kicked your dog... or...something else." She smirked softly.

"Hey," Garret called as picked Amanda from her playpen, "I worked hard on that look," he laughed. Amanda snuggled into his chest and he planted a kiss on the top of her head. He sat down with her on the sofa and talked to her as if she could understand, "He kiddo," he said, "guess what I did today... I married your mommy," he whispered the last part as if it were a secret between just the two of them.

She smiled as she walked over and sat beside them, tucking her legs up under her.

"I guess that makes me your step-daddy," Garret explained, all his attention focused on the baby in his arms, "and you've got a step-sister now, kiddo, just wait till you met her," Amanda cooed in his arms and Garret took it as a sign that she understood, "Abby, that's right," he said.

Renee looked down as he talked, tears springing to her eyes as he said, "_just_ _wait till you meet her_." She knew that if things didn't go in her favor tomorrow, the chances of that happening were slim to none.

Garret turned Amanda around to face her mum. When she was settled on his lap he looked at Renee. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped himself when he saw the tears in her eyes. He took his free arm and wrapped it around her shoulder, "what's the matter," he asked, pulling her close to him.

"I'm just so scared I'm gonna lose her." She buried her face in his shoulder.

"Look at me," Garret said, his tone serious now, "look a me," he said again, shrugging his shoulder until she moved to meet his gaze. He cupped his hand to her cheek and with one look, told her not to look away. "You are not going to lose her," he said sternly, "You are not going to lose her. Tomorrow, you're going to go in there and you're going to give your speech. You're going to tell them how much you love your daughter and how you've been with her everyday since she was born. He's going bring up all the things he has already to convince the judge why you shouldn't have her. But he won't give any reason why he should. Because there are no reasons Renee," his voice had grown softer as he spoke and it cracked now as he said her name and one of her tears rolled down her face and onto his hand. "You're not going to lose her," he said again in a voice quieter than a whisper.

Swallowing hard, Renee slid her arms around the two of them. "I love you. So much." She sniffed softly, laying her head on his shoulder again.

Garret buried a kiss in her hair, "I love you too," he said, trying in vain to hold back his own tears, "I love you too."


	5. Chapter Five

She quickly slipped her earrings into the two sets of holes she had in each ear, the upper hole only getting tiny studs. She took a slow breath before walking into the kitchen and kissing Garret's cheek softly, before brushing past him.

Garret tried to smile at her touch, but his face fell flat. His stomach had wound itself into knots of nervousness and he was hopeless to untie them. He glanced at the clock for what felt like the millionth time that morning. They had little over an hour before they were due in court.

"Are you hungry?" Garret asked turning to where Renee sat at the table.

She shook her head as she took a sip of her coffee.

He sighed and sat down at the table across from her, "When's Cynthia going to be here?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer. He was anxious to get to the courthouse, to get the whole thing over with.

"She's off today, Garret. You know that," she sighed.

"Right," Garret said quietly, his fingers tapping out a random rhythm on the table. Not feeling like he could sit still for any longer, he rose from the table, his chair screeching against the floor. "I'll go get Amanda ready then," he announced.

"Okay," she said quietly.

Garret wandered into the living room and plucked Amanda from her playpen. He gave her a diaper a quick check and then changed her out of her pajamas. As he worked he was overcome by just how much he loved her. It didn't matter that she wasn't his daughter by blood, to Garret; Amanda was as much his daughter as Abby was. When she was dressed he lifted her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you kiddo," he whispered. He collected her diaper bag and slung it over his shoulder and headed back to Renee in the kitchen.

"Hey there baby girl..." she said softly, taking her daughter from Garret. Renee held her close, thinking that this could be the last time she had the chance.

Garret sighed, watching mother and daughter. He said a silent prayer to whoever was listening; he asked for them to stay together and offered everything he had. He swallowed hard and placed a hand on Renee's arm, "you ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah," she stood and walked to the front door, pulling on her jacket, then Amanda's.

Garret led them out to his car in silence. He wanted to say something, but nothing seemed right. His fingers tapped nervously on the steering wheel as he drove. Although he kept in accordance with every speed limit, it felt like forever before they finally got there.

They were in the courtroom, waiting for the judge, and she was holding Amanda close, praying to every deity that she could think of so that she wouldn't have her daughter taken away. When the judge came in she turned and handed the baby to Garret over the partition.

The judge sat with a somber smile. She cut right to the chase, turning to Eddie and inviting him to make his statement. Eddie stood and angled himself so he was half facing the judge and half facing Renee. Just as Garret suspected, he started with Renee's attack. He claimed his daughter wasn't safe as long as her mother was a district attorney who made enemies out of dangerous offenders everyday. He of course brought up the child who had died under Renee's care. He threw in the same tired accusations of alcoholism and gambling addiction that Garret knew were based on half truths. When he'd finally finished, Garret sighed. If they had been in another venue at another time, he would have had no problem giving Eddie the beating he deserved. But of course, he was in court of law with a sleeping baby in his arms, so he held his anger inside.

The judge turned to Renee, "Miss Walcott," she said with a nod, "Go ahead."

"Your honor, I have nothing to say. If there's nothing I've said thus far to convince you that I love my daughter more than life itself, will keep her safe, will give her all she deserves, then I don't see how I can change your mind now. I'm not willing to sling baseless accusations to get what I want. So I'm not going to." She swallowed hard. "I love my daughter, and I don't want to lose her, but that decision is up to you."

Garret sighed as Renee took her seat. He had expected her to say more, but her speech didn't surprise him in the least. The judge looked down from her seat and addressed the court. "Alright," she announced, "this court will reconvene in two hours. I will deliver my decision at that time." she rapped her gavel and stood.

Renee stood up and walked over to Garret, taking her sleeping daughter into her arms. "You wanna go get coffee while we wait?"

Garret shrugged. "Sure," he said. Like he did every time they left the courtroom, he fit his hand into the small of her back and ushered her through the doors.

She nearly ran into Eddie as they were leaving. He had practically run out the door and she stopped short. "Eddie."

"Renee."

Garret's jaw tightened as again he was forced to repress the hatred he had for this man.

She shifted the baby slightly and looked at him. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I don't trust you with my daughter."

Garret shook his head and laughed to himself at the ridiculousness of Eddie's statement. He'd heard it a million times before, but made no more sense now than it did the first time he'd heard it.

"Fine," she said curtly as she stepped around him.

Garret stepped in to Eddie as he walked by. "Stay the hell away from us," he said in a voice only loud enough for the other man to hear.

"Renee, why won't you just give up?" Eddie called. She turned around and shook her head.

"You know I'm not a bad mother. You **know** I'm not." One of her eyebrows twitched. "You witnessed it."

Garret's face fell in confusion; he looked from Renee to Eddie and from Eddie back to Renee. The pair just stood with their jaws tight and their gazes fixed on one another. In the back of his mind, Garret thought that had this been a cartoon, steam would have been whistling from their ears.

She sighed softly. "Garret, there's...something I haven't told you." She pushed her hair back with one hand. "Eddie and I had a son. He died when he was six weeks old from SIDS." She swallowed hard. "I got pregnant again, and I had a miscarriage. So when I told you Eddie left me because I couldn't make him a father, it was only half true."

Garret's jaw dropped open and his eyes widened. He stared at Renee for a moment before shifting his gaze to Eddie. He raised an eyebrow at the other man; silently asking him if what Renee said was true. When Eddie nodded his head Garret found his voice, "and you just forgot to tell me?" he said flatly.

"I didn't know how to tell you." She took a deep breath to calm down. "It's so hard for me to even think about. Please don't hate me."

Eddie turned to walk away. "You're not a good person to be raising a child Renee." He said, before leaving.

"It's me Renee," Garret said in a hurried whisper once Eddie had gone, "for chrissakes I'm your husband now aren't I? You'd think you would have let me in on your little secret. I thought we finally had it all sorted out, you and me, but you've been lying to be the entire time."

"Garret..." She let out a sighing sob. "I don't want to talk about this. Not now."

"Seems to me that you were just fine to never talk about it. What else don't I know Renee, huh? You've probably got a whole closet full of skeletons waiting to jump out at me," he snapped.

"God! Garret, in two hours I'm going to find out if I'm going to lose my daughter. Can we PLEASE talk about this after?" She worked hard to keep her composure.

"Yeah sure," Garret said with shocking finality, "I'll talk to you later, Renee." With his head spinning, he turned and walked out of the courthouse.

"Thank you so much Eddie," Renee muttered under her breath, glad they took both cars that morning as she headed to a coffee shop not far from the courthouse.

Garret headed out to his car. When he got there he decided he didn't trust himself enough to drive just yet. His hands were shaking in his pockets and he felt as if he might be sick. He instead decided to walk and clear his head. For an hour he wondered up the closest street and then turned around and headed straight back to his car. He stood with his fingers on the door handle for what felt like an hour, but in reality was closer to a minute. Finally he slipped his keys back into his pocket and walked towards the courthouse. He found the familiar room and snuck inside without a sound. Renee was in her seat at the front Amanda planted in her lap. Garret slid into the bench furthest from her as the judge entered the courtroom.

Renee could feel him enter the room, and let out a tiny sigh, holding Mandy close.

The judge cleared her throat and asked Eddie and Renee to stand. When they had, she read her decision. Garret didn't hear much of what the judge said, only the one line that mattered.

"Amanda Walcott will remain in the custody of her mother."

As soon as the verdict was announced, Garret slipped out the door as quickly and as quietly as he had come in.

Renee breathed a sigh of relief and turned around to share a smile with Garret, feeling her heart nearly break when he walked out the door. She quickly grabbed Amanda's diaper bag and half ran out the door, trying to catch up with him

He could hear high heels click on the pavement behind him and he knew instantly who was wearing them. He didn't bother to turn around.

"Garret."

He didn't look back until he'd reached his car. He found her standing a few feet short of the front bumper, Amanda getting restless in her arms. "What?" he asked angrily.

The tone in his voice set Amanda off completely and she started to wail. "Never mind," she snapped as she turned and walked away.

"Fine," Garret hollered at her back. He threw open the door of his car, sunk into the seat and slammed the door shut again. He gripped the steering wheel tight in his hands until his knuckles were white.

She flinched slightly as she walked back to her car, lightly bouncing Amanda in an attempt to calm her down.

Garret turned the keys in the ignition and headed out of the parking lot, making a point of diverting his gaze when he passed Renee on his way.

She calmed Amanda down, driving home and putting her in her crib after changing her into her pajamas.

Garret found his way back to his empty apartment, a place he hadn't seen in days. He scoured the kitchen for something to eat and when he could find nothing that hadn't passed its expiry date, he turned to his liquor cabinet. He pulled out the first bottle he touched, not caring what was inside and unscrewed the lid. He found himself a glass of questionable cleanliness and poured three fingers of alcohol into it. He drank it down in one long gulp and poured another. He kicked off his shoes and wandered into his bedroom. His answering machine flashed 'nine' from the bedside table, but he ignored it. He sucked back another drink and sprawled himself on his bed.

Renee curled up on the couch, trying to figure out how to fix things

Garret had almost fallen into a booze soaked sleep when the phone echoed through his bedroom. He sat up quickly and snatched the phone from the bedside table before it could ring again. "Macy," he said gruffly.

"I'm sorry. Baby, I'm so so sorry. I was going to tell you." She spoke quickly.

"When?" Garret barked, "On our golden anniversary?"

"I spent the last five weeks trying to figure out how to tell you," she sighed, "I didn't feel comfortable telling you before."

"But you felt comfortable enough to marry me with all those lies hanging around your neck?"

She didn't say anything; instead her response was to slam down the phone.

When the dial tone rang in his ear he hurled the phone at the wall. He thought perhaps it would help him release some anger, but it had only left him with a phone he'd have to replace.

Renee curled up again, closing her eyes and trying to think of anything else.

Garret picked up his bottle and moved to pour himself another shot. He stared at it for a moment and then sat it back down; realizing he could drink everything he had and it wouldn't change a thing. He wanted to talk to her and since his phone was in five hundred pieces on the floor, he decided the best thing to do was go to her apartment. At least that way she couldn't hang up on him he thought. Five minutes later he was in his car, and on his way to Renee's. He knew he shouldn't be driving in his state, but he didn't care, he needed to see her.

A few minutes later she got up and went to make coffee.

Garret drove faster than he needed to, but to take his time didn't seem to make much sense. He let his anger and passion get the better of him until he swung his car onto Renee's street.

She was sitting in her chair in the living room, reading the newspaper while snuggling with Amanda who had woken from her nap a few minutes earlier, when she heard a knock on the door. She sighed, set down the paper and sighed, going to answer the door.


	6. Chapter Six

When the door opened, the uniformed officer removed his hat and nodded to Renee. "Good afternoon Miss Walcott," he said

"Officer..." She said slowly.

"Miss Walcott," the young beat cop started, twisting his hat in his hands, "there's been an accident. Dr. Macy is asking for you ma'am.

"Why me? Why not one of the ADA's?"

"No ma'am, I don't think you understand," he said shuffling his feet, "Dr. Macy was in the accident. He's at Boston General. I'll take you there."

She nearly dropped the baby in her shock, just catching her in time. "Whoa," she sighed. "That's fine. I'm capable of driving myself."

"All right ma'am," he agreed, "if you'll follow me, I can get you there rather quickly" he said, offering his lights and sirens.

"Just give me a moment," she said softly as she turned around, pulling on hers and Amanda's jackets and grabbing Mandy's' diaper bag and her keys.

The young officer waited in front of Renee's building until she pulled up behind him. He flicked on the lights and sirens and pulled away from the curb. He made a quick left and headed up the street. He realized too late that he was leading her directly past the accident. He mentally kicked himself as the car's wreckage and the lamppost it was wrapped around loomed closer and closer. He glanced in his review mirror at her car, hoping that by some miracle she wouldn't notice the police officers, firemen and bright yellow police lines on the street's corner.

She swallowed hard and did her damndest not to swerve off the road as she drove past the accident.

The officer dropped his foot a little more as he rolled past the accident, hoping he could speed her past the depressing sight.

She sighed softly as the sirens caused Amanda to start wailing.

Garret struggled to regain his senses when he heard a soft knock on the door. "Come in," he said groggily, his entire body throbbing. A blonde head poked through the crack in the door.

"Dad?" a familiar voice called.

"Yeah baby," Garret said. Abby entered the room then and it was obvious she'd be crying. Maggie followed a few steps behind her.

His daughter sat herself down on the edge of his bed and snatched his hand in hers. "What happened?" she asked.

Garret sighed. He really couldn't remember much; all he knew is what the cops had told him, "I crashed my car into a lamppost," he explained.

Maggie shook her head as if she were disappointed in him. "Are you okay?" she asked.

Garret laughed casually and looked down at his body. "Well, I'm in the hospital Mag," he said, "apparently I've broken my leg and cracked a bunch of ribs and I've got nice concussion too." Abby still looked worried. "I'll be fine baby," he assured her, "I'm sure I look worse than I actually am," he said reaching up and wincing as he felt the bruises on his face.

Renee left her now quiet daughter with the beat cop, knocking lightly on the door before opening it.

As the door moved open, every Macy's eyes turned toward it. When Renee entered the room Garret gave her a sad smile and started with the introductions. "Renee, this Abby and Maggie," he explained pointing to them each in turn as if she couldn't decipher for herself who was who. "Maggie, Abby, this is Renee... my wife."

Renee gave the two women a nervous smile. "Hi."

"Hi," Maggie and Abby said in unison before turning to Garret, their eyes wide.

"Wife?" Abby asked obviously annoyed that she was left out of this part of her father's life.

"Yeah," Garret said simply. He sighed quietly. This is not how he had hoped his worlds would collide. "Can we talk about this later?" He asked, his eyes asking Maggie to take their daughter to the waiting room. Maggie nodded in understanding and with a quick glance at Abby, pushed her out the door. Maggie lightly placed her hand on Renee's arm as she passed her.

"Good luck," she whispered with a smile and pulled the door shut behind her.

"You moron." Renee said softly as she walked towards the chair beside the bed. "In what reality should a person be driving when their BAC is one and a half times the legal limit?"

"I'll be fine by the way, thanks for asking" Garret said, immediately recognizing the hostility in his own voice.

"Sorry." She said softly, taking his hand and lightly kissing his knuckles.

He pulled his hand away from her and looked nervously around the room. "Where's Amanda?" he asked.

She sat back and crossed her arms. "One of the officers is watching her."

Garret nodded slowly and after a moment of trying, organized his thoughts enough to speak. "I was coming to see you," he said.

"Half sloshed? Great idea."

"Well, I would have called but I broke my phone," he explained with a smile.

She just raised an eyebrow.

"I just wanted to talk to you," he said quietly, "I wanted to see you."

She nodded slightly, biting her lip. "I'm so sorry."

Garret turned his attention out the window and sighed. "Tell me about your son," he said after a time, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

"I can't."

His face folded into a sad and angry frown. "Fine," he said, still staring out the window, but taking in none of the view.

She got up and lightly brushed her lips against his forehead, before walking to the door. "I'll see you later."

Garret's stomach jumped into his throat at her touch. "Don't go Renee," he said quietly.

"Garret...I can't do this right now."

"I just want to apologize," he said, his voice threatening to reveal his pain.

"For what?"

Garret picked nervously at the edge of his blanket. "I'm sorry that you can't tell me about your son. I'm sorry for everything I've done that makes you feel like you can't trust me."

"Garret..." She breathed softly, walking over and sitting lightly on the bed. "It's not that I can't trust you. You know I do. But there's one thing that I don't talk about with anyone, and that's Jack."

"I'm not just anyone Renee," Garret said sadly, finding himself unable to meet her gaze.

"God, sweetie...I know that. I just can't. It hurts too much."

He nodded in understanding, "I know," he said quietly.

In reality, he had no idea how much it hurt to loose a child, but it seemed like the appropriate thing to say. He turned back towards the window, the muscles in his neck throbbing in protest as he moved. It was starting to get dark and Garret watched the headlights run up and down the road in front of the hospital. After a time, he turned his attention back to Renee and gathered the courage to tell her what he needed to.

"I love you," he started, "and I want to be with you Renee, but I can't pretend that this didn't happen and you shouldn't have to either."

"The me not telling you, or the you running into a lamp post?"

Garret laughed with only a half effort. "You shouldn't have to keep you son a secret Renee," he explained. "I understand that it's hard to talk about, I understand that you'd rather not think about it all, but I can't live with secrets and lies hanging over me."

"Well, you know all mine now."

"Do I?" Garret asked seriously, wanting to make sure he wouldn't have his heart trampled on again.

"Yeah," she gave him a sad smile.

"Good," he said nodding. He reached out for her hand and ran his thumb over its back. "I do love you, you know," he said quietly.

"I know, I love you too." She leaned over to kiss him, just as she heard light footsteps make their way into the room

Garret looked towards the door as Abby stepped through with Amanda in her arms. "The police officer was just sitting outside the door with her," she explained, "I asked him who she was and it turns out I have a step-sister no one told me about."

Garret smiled as Abby walked towards them. He wished the girls had met under different circumstances but as he watched the easy way Abby handled the baby before handing her to Renee, he just smiled and was glad that they even had the chance to meet.

Renee smiled softly, kissing the top of Amanda's head. "I'll leave you two alone."

"It's alright," Abby said quickly, "you don't have to go," she gave Renee a look that begged her to stay. "I mean, you're my step mom now right? How are we going to get to know each other if we're never in the same room together?" she asked.

She patted her hand on the edge of her father's bed inviting her to sit back down. When she did, Abby put her hands on her hips and looked from Renee to Garret and back again. "Now," she said with authority, "can someone tell me how you two happened to get married and didn't bother to tell me?" She smiled and tapped her foot, pretending to be angry.

Garret smiled, cutting his laughter short when it shook his sore ribs. "Well," he started, "it's kind of a long story."

"Not that long." Renee smirked at him. "He asked, I said yes six weeks later, half an hour after that we were married."

Abby raised an eyebrow at her father. "Don't ever accuse me of being reckless in relationships, okay?" she asked with a smirk as the doctor interrupted them.

"I'm sorry," he announced, "but visiting hours are just about finished and we need to take Dr. Macy for a few more ex-rays on that leg of his."

"I'll see you later Garret." Renee said softly as she stood

Garret nodded and reached out for Amanda. He pressed a kiss to her cheek when Renee placed her in his arms. Abby stepped beside him next and squeezed his hand, "I'll come by tomorrow, okay?" she said with a smile.

"Okay, baby," he agreed. When she'd left, he offered Amanda back to mother.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Renee whispered as she leaned down and kissed him softly.

"I love you," he said once more, staring at her hard to make sure she knew he meant it.

"I love you too." She smiled softly.

When Garret was alone in his room he smiled to himself. Today had probably been one of the hardest days of his entire life, but now that it was over he decided he wouldn't have wanted it any other way. He was still in the dark about a particular aspect of Renee's life, but he knew that she would come to him when she was ready to talk about it, so there was no use pulling it out of her. His daughters were now on a first name basis and his grin grew as he imagined how they would get along in the future. A nurse came in and gave him some medication to manage the pain of his injuries. Garret didn't bother to tell her that he was too happy to feel any of it.

* * *

Author's Note: Thanks to all that read and reviewed, we really had fun writting this. Look forward to the sequel. 


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